“Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked I will depart.”
Job 1:21
As of recent, one of our larger customers has pushed us well beyond the boundaries of a “reasonable payment term” falling delinquent on nearly seven figures worth of shipped product. The domino effect has ensued as nearly all of our expenses tied to that client have also become late despite my best efforts to manage the division. I’ve enlisted prayer warriors from every corner of our neck in the woods and while God’s answers have been faithful, the doses are small and literally evaporate before we can realize the gain. Prioritizing what should be sold first and whether or not we need to reduce headcount and eliminate inventory, have sent my mind into a tailspin of sleepless nights and record setting anxiety. For me, it’s not a matter of trust, but more so an understanding that the pain and suffering in this moment are real, and that the length of the delay remains out of my control.
Thinking about how many times God has been “good” and how many times we have walked away “blessed”, forces me to also think about the number of times He has not been good, by the world’s standards anyway. How many times that door has closed or how many times the doctor has not had the best forecast. How many times we have struggled while our neighbors have prospered and how many times my prayers have gone unanswered. How many times the cost of obedience has literally brought me to my knees and how many times the whisper of question and doubt have actually defeated the roar of thunder in confidence.
But had it not been for these lone desert promenades and tumultuous white-capped waters I’ve had to cross, I would not understand just how good God is when the waterfall of rejuvenation actually hits my neck or my feet land firm against the hull on the tranquil surface. My prayers will always be to see the promise on this side of the grave, for the wrongs to be made right, to rejoice in the trial and to come to know that the beauty is never wasted. But, if they are met with silence, as they sometimes are, I will still sing a new song, through those earthly disappointments, having knowledge to a greater degree than before that my God is just as good in the giving as He is in the taking away, and blessed be His name in both
